


Fieri Sentio et Excrucior

by KeriArentikai



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Closeted Character, Hand Jobs, M/M, Modern AU, Oral Sex, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-04 07:37:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeriArentikai/pseuds/KeriArentikai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agron, a professional fighter, trains at the gym where Nasir works.  He and the other fighters always have loud, testosterone-fueled conversations about how tough they are and how many girls they pick up.  </p><p>But he just keeps staring at Nasir, and Nasir can't figure out why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In the world of the show, there's no reason why a strong warrior couldn't have a relationship with a younger man without it threatening his masculinity. Not so much today. I wanted to play with keeping Agron as close as possible to the character of the show while transferring him to a different culture in terms of sexual identity.
> 
> I'm still writing this, so I'll update the tags as I go. It will definitely be explicit by the end.

**Catullus 85**  
Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris?  
nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

I hate and I love. Why do I do this, you might ask?  
I don't know. But I feel that's how it is, and I am tortured.

_____

The man was watching him. Again.

Nasir pretended not to notice.

_____

It had started pretty much as soon as Nasir took the job as the on-site physiotherapist at Iron Gym. Nasir liked the job - his clients were motivated to get better, even if they weren't always great at following instructions to rest. The gym was populated by bodybuilders, serious athletes and even some MMA fighters. They were an interesting group of men and women who cared about their bodies (even if they occasionally abused them) and Nasir got along with almost everyone.

But he'd never even had so much as a conversation with this one guy, huge and built and kind of mohawked. Nasir guessed he was a fighter - he often came in with a black eye or bruises on his shirtless torso. The first day Nasir had seen him, he might have let his eyes linger on the man's sculpted body just a little too long to be professional as the man ran on the treadmill, glistening sweat making all his defined muscles evident and beautiful. The man had headphones on and whatever he was listening to suddenly made him smile. It was a disarming smile - unexpectedly sweet and dimpled in such a fierce face. When he saw Nasir looking at him, his expression had gone stony and forbidding. Nasir looked away.

It had been months since then. Months of glaring, and Nasir knew little more about the man now than he did then. He has learned by eavesdropping - he wasn't trying to listen in, he swears - that the man's name was Agron (first or last, he doesn't know) and that he was indeed an MMA fighter, one of the rising stars. He learned that the man had a rivalry with Dave Crixus and that they beat the shit out of each other in and out of a professional context whenever they could. He didn't see them in the gym at the same time very often.

He's also heard people tease him, or congratulate him, on all the women he picks up. Nobody seemed to respect these women very much when they talked about them- even Saxa, the reigning female champion, had nothing nice to say. 

After a group of them left, joking and laughing about all the tail this Agron and his friend Gannicus got last weekend, Nasir looked at Naevia, to see his expression mirrored on her face.

"Pigs," she said. Nasir liked Naevia. She was one of the trainers and was excellent at her job of motivating people to push themselves - she always seemed to magically know whether a person was helped most by fear or by encouragement.

"Some of that has to be posturing, right? They can't possibly be such assholes," Nasir replied.

Naevia looked at him disbelievingly. "Yes, they really can be. Dave and I almost broke up because he pretty much turns into one of them when he's around those kind of people. It's the culture," she shrugged.

Maybe if he had been a different man, Nasir would have been nervous around them. He didn't go out of his way to hide the fact that he was gay and he had an HRC sticker on his locker. But Nasir refused to be ashamed or afraid because of who he was - he couldn't take down a professional fighter, sure, but he could protect himself well enough. He made sure of that. He was no one's victim.

Nasir suspected that the unfriendliness from Agron had something to do with the gay thing, though. He felt a little bit bad about checking him out that first day, but the man made a living by putting his body and what it could do on display. He should be used to people at least looking. If he wanted to punch every guy that checked him out, there would be a lot of black eyes around town. Nasir wasn't afraid of Agron and if Agron wanted to be a homophobic asshole and hate him, he really didn't care.

Except, well, Agron wasn't always an asshole. Besides his weirdness with Nasir, his comfortable enmity with Crixus and the testosterone-fuelled posturing, he actually seemed to be a pretty nice guy. He had bursts of temper - no one started fighting professionally unless they had some rage issues, Nasir figured - but he was mostly happy and open with his friends.

His suspicions regarding homophobia were confirmed when, after doing his own workout on a day off, Nasir left the showers of the locker room with only a towel tucked around his waist and his hair, usually tied up in a practical ponytail, down around his shoulders. Agron was just finishing getting dressed when Nasir walked past him down the aisle of lockers to his own and Agron left so quickly that he didn't even put on his shoes - he just grabbed them and went. Nasir snorted in amusement.

He had to admit that it unnerved him, though. While he was determined not to react, he coudn't help but be aware of Agron whenever he was in the same room. At first it was only because he kept feeling like someone was staring and he wanted to confirm it, but Agron never met his eye. And then he just became a presence - one that took up too much space in both the gym, with his booming voice and enthusiastic attitude towards everything, and also in Nasir's mind. Nasir had always been attracted to men for their personalities and he wasn't going to start ogling an asshole just because he was hot. So he never (or, okay, rarely) looked back, but he always seemed to know where Agron was and what he was doing, despite himself.

Which resulted in some interesting situations. A few weeks after their first inadvertent locker room run-in, Nasir was again showering, facing the wall with his eyes closed as he washed the shampoo out of his hair. It was fairly late, almost closing time, and he was alone. He heard footsteps but he didn't turn around as he might have otherwise. He knew it was Agron. He wasn't entirely sure why he was so certain - there had been a few guys left in the gym when he left - but he was. He waited for Agron to turn on a shower, or say something offensive, or leave, or even attack him, but Agron did none of those things.

Agron, in fact, didn't do anything. As far as Nasir could tell, he was just standing there. Looking at him. It went on more than a little too long to be polite and Nasir imagined that he could feel the man's stare on his back, his bare legs, his ass. He was just about to turn around when he heard footsteps again, this time running away.

After that, he was a little less sure about the reason for Agron's interest. He couldn't think that the glares were an attempt at cruising, but maybe the homophobia was partially self-directed. Maybe. After that, he was even more careful not to be caught looking back. 

Pity.

___

Naevia had finally managed to convince Nasir that he needed a night out. He wasn't a big fan of the club or bar scene, but he had to admit that, every once in a while, it was nice to go out and get silly. So he went along with her and some of the other staff members and ordered gin and tonic after gin and tonic. The bar was not quite what he had been expecting - it wasn't a dance club, it was a basement bar that was just grungy enough to be comfortable. It was packed, though, so the music was loud and the room vibrated with energy.

"This was a great idea. Thanks for convincing me," Nasir told Naevia, putting an arm around her and kissing her cheek. Suddenly, he was turned around by a hand he felt grip his shoulder and he was brought face-to-face with Crixus. He looked pretty angry and Nasir had no desire to get into a bar fight. Thankfully, Naevia intervened.

"Dave, this is my friend Nasir. You know, the one I told you about?" Nasir knew this was code for 'he's the gay one, dipshit.'

"Oh, hey, nice to meet you, man." Crixus' face softened and he let his hand fall. He then turned to Naevia and kissed her possessively as Nasir rolled his eyes. 

"A bunch of the guys are here," he told her. "Including the douchebag. Spartacus invited him, for some bullshit reason."

When Nasir was drunk, the nicknames some of these fighters had became even funnier, and he almost laughed before he realized who Crixus must be talking about.

No one had every accused Nasir of being in touch with his feelings. In fact, most of his previous relationships had ended when whichever guy he was dating would say that Nasir 'never really opened up to him' or 'was holding himself back' or something. He was pretty good at keeping himself safe from being hurt by others, partially by suppressing his own feelings.

Except when he was drunk.

Drunk Nasir knew it would be a really bad idea to see Agron. He didn't know quite why, but he did. So he excused himself to the bathroom, just to take a few moments to collect himself.

It was a mistake, since Agron was just washing his hands when Nasir walked in. If he and his friends had just arrived at this bar, clearly they had been drinking somewhere else first. Agron's eyes were unfocused and his movements, usually so controlled, were sloppy and imprecise. His shirt was askew, buttoned up one button off, and Nasir wondered if he'd been fooling around with some girl. Wondered if the girl was still here, and realized that he really didn't want to see some random person hanging off of him because - holy shit, he had a crush.

He had a crush on a possibly straight, possibly homophobic man who he didn't know at all, and they were both drunk in a bathroom.

While Nasir was having this revelation, Agron noticed his entrance. He narrowed his eyes and lurched towards Nasir.

"You," he said.

"Me?" Nasir echoed, backing up as Agron moved forward, until he was pressing himself against the wall. 

"You," he repeated. Agron moved all the way into his space, so that their bodies were almost touching. "Nasir," Agron murmured, and Nasir wondered how the man knew his name and what the fuck was going on.

Between the alcohol, Agron's looming and his discovery of actually being somehow invested in this guy, Nasir reacted badly. He shoved Agron back, so hard that he stumbled. Nasir thought that, on a different guy, he might have left bruises. 

But once the surprise passed out of Agron's eyes, he did what must have been instinctive to him - he retaliated. He didn't hurt Nasir, not exactly, but he shoved him up hard against the wall, his hands pressing Nasir's shoulders in place and his legs pinning his body.

They were both breathing hard now and Nasir could smell citrus and tequila on Agron's breath, because even though the man was much taller than him, he moved his head down. Down, down and Nasir closed his eyes and tried to stay still when he could feel Agron exhale on the skin of his neck, just seconds before he felt the warm wetness of Agron's tongue licking up the side.

He couldn't help it. He jerked forward, hips and body and all of him wanting more contact, more than that just that one spot of Agron's attention. Agron's muscular thigh was pressing against his groin and only his thick jeans and the effects of intoxication kept him from being pretty obvious about what he was feeling.

But at Nasir's motion, Agron threw himself backwards. In the split second before Agron ran out, mumbling an apology, Nasir could see that he looked horror-struck.

He stayed leaning against the wall, trying to remember how to breathe, for several minutes.


	2. Chapter 2

Nasir woke up with a hangover, a bad taste in his mouth, morning wood and the sharp and distinct memory of Agron's body against his own. He took a shower, and if he released some tension while holding that sensation in his mind, well, he told himself this would be the only time. 

___ 

If anything, Nasir expected Agron to ignore him with even more determination than before after that little display in the bar bathroom. He really wasn't expecting Agron to appear when he was alone in the locker room, right before closing time. 

He had just finished dressing when Agron came in, already wearing street clothes, so he figured the man must have been waiting for the right moment. 

Before Nasir could even guess at what the guy was doing here, Agron blurted out: "I'm sorry about the other night."

Nasir gaped at him for a few seconds, looking at the huge man who was staring down at his own feet with a blush on his cheeks, and stayed silent long enough that Agron went on.

"I don't usually hold down people who shove me off of them and... well, yeah, sorry."

"I didn't really mind that part," Nasir said, before he could stop himself.

"Oh." Agron looked up at him and met Nasir's eyes. He flushed harder. "Well, I'm just gonna..." He made an awkward motion towards the door, stood frozen for a moment longer, then left with long, fast strides.

____

Agron still stared at him after that, but it felt different. Less hostile, if not less intent. And Nasir was pretty sure that it was because Agron enjoyed looking at him, not because he was plotting a lynching. 

So Nasir looked back. It was harmless - Nasir had no intention of taking up with a closet case. He hadn't alienated himself from his family at eighteen just to go back in the closet for the sake of some guy, no matter how hot. 

It became a bit of a game to Nasir, giving Agron something to look at. He thought maybe Agron was playing too, but Nasir had been known to read more into things that really existed, so he wasn't sure. As long as neither of them acknowledged that anything was happening, it was safe.

One day Nasir wore a fairly tight, sleeveless shirt to work - still professional enough for a gym, but much more revealing than his usual comfortable t-shirts. He never met Agron's eyes, but he smiled to himself.

Another day, Agron used a different space in the free-weights section than he usually did, which just happened to place him right in Nasir's line of sight. He was shirtless, as he sometimes was - technically against the rules, but no one here minded as long as the person cleaned up after themselves well - and the sight of his muscles working hard under the skin of his bare back was extremely distracting. Nasir hoped that Agron couldn't see his face in the mirror.

Agron had hesitated for a split second when walking by Nasir in the vestibule, finger-combing his hair and putting it back into a ponytail in preparation for his trip home. So Nasir started to leave some of his hair down in the gym every once in a while - a half-ponytail kept it out of his face well enough.

He hadn't seen Agron in the showers before. He wasn't sure if it was because he lived close enough that he didn't bother to shower there or if he deliberately avoided being there when Nasir was around. Then one day he was rushing through the locker room, almost late for meeting with a client, when he saw Agron alone, a towel draped over the bench beside him, totally nude. Nasir could only see his back as he stood up straight, facing the locker, but just the back view was enough - he was almost used to the broad stretch of muscle and skin between his shoulders and down his spine, and he had imagined his ass often enough not to be too taken aback by it, but he was caught off-guard by Agron's thighs. They were huge, as solid and powerful as tree-trunks, and Nasir had really never thought about thighs before as a sexual attribute, but he was pretty sure he was going to from now on. He might have stumbled a little bit over the mat near the exit in his distraction and he imagined he heard the ghost of a soft laugh.

But when he thought about it, he felt kind of shitty about this game with Agron. He could mostly pretend that it was all in his head, but if it wasn't - if he really was teasing the guy - it was pretty mean. No one was still closeted at the age of, what, late twenties, early thirties?, without being messed up about it.

He needed to stop. 

He needed a distraction. He wasn't a fan of one night stands or picking guys up in bars, but he didn't mind a bit of making out with a stranger every now and then. He called his friend Chadara, who was always up for a bit of fun, and they went to a gay bar - she was just as happy taking home the woman with long, black hair and dark skin as she would have been picking up some muscle-bound guy in a normal club. Nasir found himself dancing with a good looking guy, tall and built (but not as tall or built as Agron, his mind whispered), who was a fairly good kisser. He also didn't take any offense at Nasir leaving just after midnight, by himself.

But at home it wasn't the random guy biting at his neck that Nasir thought about, lying in his bed, tipsy enough to still be turned on but not so gone that he had any trouble getting himself off. No, of course, he thought about Agron. Maybe in the showers, maybe if he hadn't run away in that bathroom... It wasn't long before he was cleaning himself up and going to sleep, concerned that maybe this flirtation had gone on longer than it should have.

Two days later, it was honestly a coincidence that Agron was standing by an open locker when Nasir walked past the row of lockers in a towel, freshly showered. Nasir didn't linger, but he was sure Agron had seen him. But it wasn't funny this time. Agron slammed his locker shut with excessive force and left.

Nasir looked over at a mirror and noticed, not for the first time, the mark the random guy had left on his neck. 

When he caught a brief glance of Agron the next day, he had a black eye and a split lip. Nasir guessed that whoever he had fought looked worse.

Fuck.

_____

"You've been off lately, what's up?" Naevia asked him, as she poured two glasses of wine and moved to the couch.

"What? Oh, nothing," Nasir replied. He took a sip, enjoying the deep, rich flavour of the Shiraz. 

"Boy troubles?" Naevia asked, gesturing at his neck.

"That was from some random guy in a club - I don't think I even got his name. There's definitely nothing going on there."

"Chadara's a bad influence on you." Naevia narrowed her eyes. "So, there's nothing going on with you eyefucking Agron all the time?"

Nasir almost choked on his wine.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he tried. Naevia's glare told him it wasn't working. He sighed and took another big sip.

"He's hot, but that's it."

"You know he's straight, right?" 

Nasir didn't know that, but the truth was close enough, so he nodded.

"Dave would be furious at me for saying this, but Agron's actually a pretty good guy. He talks like the rest of them do, but he's actually nice to the women that hang around with them, including me." She paused. "A year or so ago, there was this guy. Dave had just beaten him in a fight and he wanted, I don't know, revenge or something? So when Dave was drunk and distracted and I went to the bathroom, he grabbed me. It was really scary. I tried to fight back, but he was stronger. Before anyone noticed, he... Well, it doesn't matter. Agron saw what was going on and he pulled the guy off of me. Then beat the shit out of him, which was a little less heroic, but still."

Nasir put a hand on her shoulder and she looked back at him, smile a little wobbly, but present.

"I like Agron, but don't get your hopes up, okay?"

Nasir wondered if she knew more than she was letting on, but he just nodded again.

_____

He should have known it would be a bad idea, he really should have. But after the conversation with Naevia, he thought she would be doing her best to help Nasir avoid Agron. So when she invited him out, he joined and brought Chadara along with him.

Terrible, terrible plan.

Because the whole crew of fighters was there, twenty or more of them. And even though he and Naevia stayed sitting at the bar while they were in the back area, hanging around the booths, there was no way to avoid seeing him joke and flirt and be gorgeous.

Especially not when Chadara - who, to be fair, Nasir had not talked to about Agron at all - went over there and sat on his lap.

Nasir drank and ground his teeth and tried to pretend he wasn't incredibly uncomfortable while maintaining a conversation with Naevia and Mira, one of the other trainers. He wasn't sure if this was revenge for the hickey or if Agron had just never had any real interest in him at all. 

When he glanced over again, Chadara was kissing his neck and Agron was looking straight at him. Enough was enough. He slammed down his drink, not meeting Naevia's concerned eyes, and walked over. He deliberately avoided looking at Agron.

"Chadara, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She raised her head from her ministrations on Agron's neck and looked quizzically up at Nasir, but slid off Agron's lap and followed Nasir back to the bar when she saw that Nasir was definitely not joking.

"What's up?" she asked, as Nasir handed her back her drink.

"Nothing. Just..." He couldn't quite think of what to say, so settled with: "Don't go for that one."

"Okay," she said, drawing out the vowels and raising her eyebrow. "Help me pick a different one, then," she grinned. 

Nasir let go of some of his tension and smiled back. "I hear Saxa, the blonde girl, and Gannicus, the guy with the long-ish hair making out with her, like to take home thirds."

"Perfect," she purred.

He tried not to look over at Agron again. It worked for a while - Naevia and Mira were fun people and he almost let himself relax. 

Nasir made his way to the back door, thinking that he might try to bum a cigarette off of someone. When he stepped out, though, he discovered that someone had followed him. Agron grabbed his shoulder and dragged him around the corner into an alley, just out of sight of the street or the entrance to the bar.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Agron growled. "You practically dragged that girl away."

He looked a little ragged, the marks of his last fight still evident on his face. Nasir had no idea if it had been a personal or a professional fight. He hadn't shaved in a few days, but the stubble suited him.

" _That girl_ 's name is Chadara," Nasir gritted out. "And excuse me for trying to keep one of my best friends from going home with a guy who isn't even that interested in fucking her."

"What?" Agron took a step back, putting himself close to the exposed brick wall. Nasir stepped forward.

"I get the impression you're not so into girls lately," he said, low and dangerous.

"I'm straight," Agron said. It wasn't very convincing and it didn't sound like he had put much effort behind the statement.

"Really." Nasir didn't even try to make it sound like a question as he moved towards Agron. "So you wouldn't get at all turned on if I..." he trailed off as he put his hands on Agron's waist, one steadying himself and the other moving under Agron's shirt, running slowly and gently up his chest.

"Nope," he said weakly.

Agron's breath hitched as Nasir's hand brushed his nipple, then he exhaled and threw his head back against the wall when Nasir's hand changed direction. He let his fingertips slide down, tickling the trail of hair below Agron's navel and further, passing his waistband, to brush against the bulge in his jeans. When he pressed harder, Agron snapped.

He turned them around so that he had Nasir up against the wall, just like he had in the bathroom weeks ago. Before Nasir could catch his breath, Agron's mouth was on his own, kissing him hard. He kissed back, desperately, and they were both pushing against each other, trying to get more friction, get closer, as if, if they tried hard enough, they could actually occupy the same space.

His hands were wrapped around Agron's face, keeping him there, and it was just too close to what Nasir had been imagining, fantasizing about, jacking off to for weeks for him to stay sane. The tension in his chest (and other parts of him) was only building and he knew that it wouldn't go away until he got what he wanted.

"Come home with me," he whispered against Agron's neck, then he stiffened.

So did Agron, and before he had even completely pushed himself off of Nasir, Nasir was speaking again.

"Okay, no, I didn't mean that." It was true. He was thinking with his dick, not with any other part of himself. Just because he had proved that Agron wanted to make out with him in a back alley didn't mean that anything had changed. 

"Right," Agron said, still panting, and Nasir had a mad moment when he almost pulled Agron back against him. But he resisted.

"I'll see you around," he said, hastily. He turned to leave, but Agron blocked his way with a hand against the wall beside him. When Nasir looked back, Agron's eyes were wide.

"You're not going to say anything?" he asked, and it was a validation of all of Nasir's concerns. He was pretty sure that, when he was done feeling sorry for himself, he'd feel really bad for this guy.

"No."

He walked away without looking back and Agron didn't follow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a tease of a chapter, sorry! But I wanted to keep some momentum and figured a shorter chapter was better than waiting longer.

Maybe Nasir should have known to expect the unexpected from Agron. Nasir would have put down money on the prediction that Agron would avoid him completely until the end of time. That's certainly how he would have reacted when he was younger, still in denial and afraid. 

It's not like being gay had always been easy for him. His parents, both Syrian Christians, had immigrated to America when they were children and were quite conservative. Both before and after coming out, he had gone through phases of denial and rebellion and only in his early twenties did he settle into comfortable acceptance. He moved to a city hours away from his parents and brother, and while he still stayed in fairly close touch with his brother, he saw his parents only once a year or so. 

Nasir remembered the first man he had ever kissed. It was a guy at a club, he was high and he never asked for the guy's name. He never went back to that club, either.

So it was infinitely surprising when Agron didn't ignore him or even try to go back to their teasing but noncommittal game, but smiled and waved at him the next time he came into the gym and saw Agron already running on the treadmill. Agron's smile was beautiful and Nasir couldn't help but smile back.

It was a pattern. Agron would say hello and ask him how he was doing if he ran into him in the workout room or the hallway (although they managed to avoid each other in situations of nudity). They made oddly comfortable small talk. Nasir had absolutely no idea what that was supposed to mean. 

One day Agron caught him in the front desk area between clients.

"Hey, I don't know if Naevia told you, but a bunch of us are going out to the bar tonight, if you want to come." His light eyes were guileless and Nasir got the impression that Agron actually wanted him to go.

"Uh, no, Naevia didn't mention it. I finish at nine, so I guess if you guys are still there, I can come meet you."

"Oh, we'll still be there," Agron laughed, "my brother's in town and he never misses the chance to have a good time."

"Okay, well, maybe I'll see you later," Nasir said, turning to go. 

"I hope you make it," Agron said, and Nasir looked back at him but only saw him smiling with that stupid genuine smile of his. When he got to the equipment room, he pulled out his phone and texted Naevia.

_You going to the bar tonight?_

_Yup. Will probably head over around 9:30-10 if you're ready by then_

_Okay. Do not let me drink! And don't ask why._

____

He almost changed his mind about the wisdom of going to the bar as he changed out of his work clothes. Really, what was he hoping for here? The whole Agron thing was fucked up and if he was subconsciously expecting a repeat of previous bar nights, it would be better not to go at all. On the other hand, Agron seemed like he wanted to put the weirdness behind them and Nasir didn't have so many friends in this city that he should be turning down offers to lessen his isolation. He had pretty much decided not to go when Naevia appeared and he couldn't think of a good excuse for changing his mind. 

When he and Naevia entered the bar, they went straight to the back to join the large group spread out over several booths and around a couple of pool tables. Mira was there (apparently she and Spartacus had traded numbers at some point) so when Naevia went to greet Crixus, Nasir went to talk to her. It wasn't long before he heard a booming voice from one of the booths calling his name.

"Hey, come sit over here!" Agron called out. When he reached the booth, Agron pointed to another man, with slightly darker hair and a similar smile.

"Nasir, this is my brother Duro. Nasir's one of the guys who works at the gym."

"Hey, nice to meet you," Duro said, as he shook Nasir's hand and moved down the bench to make room for him. 

"So, are you also a fighter?" Nasir asked. Duro and Agron both laughed. 

"No, I'm a nurse. I was always better at getting punched than doing the punching," he said, nudging Agron with his elbow. "And someone has to deal with the guys Agron leaves in his wake."

"I wasn't that bad as a kid," Agron replied, defensively.

"Dude, you got expelled from high school for fighting. Twice!"

"Holy shit, that's even worse than me," said Saxa from across the table, and she leaned over to give Agron a high-five. 

The conversation was fun and easy, people drifted in and out and Nasir found himself having a genuinely good time.

When Duro got up to go to the bathroom and Gannicus and Crixus slid into the booth on the other side, Nasir found his own leg pressed up against Agron's. He must have done a good enough job of talking himself out of it since there was no tension there (probably his keeping himself to only two drinks so far hadn't hurt, either). They all chatted and laughed and Nasir found himself staying out later than he had planned. 

At two, he finally decided it was time to go home, so he shook Duro's hand again, told him it was nice to have met him, then turned to Agron. Agron put a firm hand on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you came," he told Nasir. He felt a warm sensation in his chest at Agron's words and he really wasn't sure whether that was better or worse than feeling one between his legs.

"Me too," he replied. And he was.

As he drove home, the streets deserted and all of the traffic lights flashing red, he thought over the evening. It hadn't been weird and Agron and his friends had actually been great.

"Could have been a lot worse," he said out loud. Now all he needed to do was to stop fantasizing about Agron and ogling him at every available opportunity and everything would be great.

____

Easier said than done, apparently. Even though Agron didn't seem to be looking back anymore, Nasir couldn't break his habit. He tried to at least be more subtle, to slowly get used to not noticing exactly where Agron was at all times, but it was a fruitless effort.

For his part, Agron still seemed to be pursuing a friendship. He invited Nasir out again the next week and this time the group was smaller - it was still fun, but this time there was more opportunity for just the two of them to talk and, well, they did. Nasir learned that Agron wanted to set up a self-defense school when he was done fighting, that he loved playing Diablo III and that he had a soft spot for Disney movies. Agron learned that Nasir didn't own a TV (and mocked him for it), that he liked wine better than beer and that his best friend from college lived in Paris. By the end of the night, Nasir had, with only a little hesitation, agreed to exchange phone numbers and go see Agron's next fight, taking place in three days.

___

Nasir had seen people spar in the practice rooms at the gym but he'd never seen a real fight. He dragged Chadara with him, who obviously recognized Agron from the night at the bar, but only raised her eyebrow and grinned. 

It was awful.

Agron and the other man, a guy he hadn't heard of, went at each other viciously. Every time Agron was hit Nasir cringed, imagining the pain. But it wasn't just that it was terrible to see Agron getting hurt and damaged. No, what was worse was that it was also disturbingly hot to see the power of his body, his primal urges on display, the way he enforced his superiority over the other man through sheer strength and skill. The force reminded him of what else Agron could do with his body - how he had moved Nasir where he wanted him, what his abs had felt like under Nasir's hands.

He was simultaneously horrified and turned on, and he newly understood the near-universal appeal of bloodsports throughout human history. But most of all he was desperately worried that Agron would get seriously hurt.

He watched as the other man's hand connected hard with Agron's jaw and he had to cover his eyes with his hands for a little while. When he uncovered them, Agron seemed to have the advantage, but there was blood trickling out of his mouth and sweat pouring off of him. Nasir wished he was sitting closer, wished he could see Agron's expression more clearly, his eyes.

It went on a while longer, although Nasir couldn't have told how long. It ended with Agron being declared the winner, his arm held in the air. His bare chest was heaving with the exertion as he spit out his mouthguard and yelled in triumph. 

Nasir had no idea how he was supposed to stop being attracted to him. He put his elbows on his legs and rested his head in his hands, needing a moment to collect himself. When he looked up again, Chadara was laughing at him.

____

 

They went out to a bar (a different bar, this one much closer to a real club) after the fight. Agron was Agron turned to eleven - more boisterous, more friendly, louder. He drank all the shots the guys bought him and beers in between, and he didn't look like he even noticed his bruised face, his split lip, whatever hurts lay beneath the clothes he had put on. His eyes were full of fire and all Nasir wanted was to bite that lip until it bled again, until he had the taste of Agron on his tongue.

Nasir only drank one drink and, even though Agron kept glancing over at him, his looks growing less and less subtle as the night wore on, left as soon as he could. 

When he lay in bed, he wondered if Agron ended up fucking someone tonight, like he clearly looked like he wanted to, still pumped up after his fight. He wondered if it was a girl, or maybe some other guy who didn't care if Agron never acknowledged him in public. Nasir buried his face in his pillow but he couldn't sleep.

Especially when he got a text from Agron asking where he was, in terribly typed text-speak. He didn't reply.


	4. Chapter 4

Agron impressed Nasir with how weird he wasn't being, still. Unfortunately, Nasir couldn't say the same for himself. Getting to know Agron had been no help at all in dispelling his crush and he felt himself getting more and more worked up about the whole situation. The constant looks of concern Naevia was sending his way weren't helping, although he couldn't really blame her - he had dropped a twenty-pound weight on his foot in his distraction the other day and he was still limping a little.

All of which led up to this moment of supreme awkwardness, at least from Nasir's perspective. He and Agron were by themselves, sitting next to each other on a couch, sipping their drinks quietly. 

It was Spartacus' birthday and Agron was hosting a party in his honour. Nasir had made sure not to come alone, but Naevia, Mira and Crixus had all gone out to buy last minute party supplies that Agron hadn't thought of (like ice for the cooler - who forgets that?). Nasir had been in the bathroom when they decided to make an extra trip and when he came out they were already gone - it was only him and Agron left.

So there they sat, on the couch. Time went by - minutes, it seemed to Nasir - and each second was painfully awkward. The silence was suffocating, just begging to be filled with the words that were trying to pound their way out of Nasir's mouth. He couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Are we really never going to talk about it?" he asked Agron, half-disbelievingly.

Agron looked at him and cocked his head.

"Do we need to?"

"No. I don't know. Whatever," Nasir huffed. 

"I mean, it's not a big deal. It was just a kiss," Agron replied, not quite looking at Nasir. His words were casual, though, confident. 

Just a kiss.

Nasir didn't know why he had assumed Agron wasn't in the habit of making out with random guys, but he had thought what happened between them was... something. Something more than 'just a kiss'. The words burned in his gut. 

He was more upset than he thought he'd be, but Agron was right. That's all it was. He clenched his jaw and Agron opened his mouth again to speak but was interrupted by the door flying open and a bunch of people coming in and making themselves at home.

Saxa and Gannicus started pouring shots of Jack and Nasir could tell it was going to be that kind of a night. 

Just a kiss. Well, fine. If that's all it was, then there was no reason for Nasir to be so constantly guarded, always thinking about what situation he was putting himself in, trying so hard not to make things harder. No reason for him to leave early, to watch how much he was drinking, to keep fucking **thinking** about Agron all the time.

He had driven over, assuming he'd stay for a drink or two and leave, but his car was in a spot that allowed overnight parking and he had a few taxi numbers programmed into his phone. To Saxa and Mira's whooping cheers and Spartacus' hearty pat on the back, he downed his first shot of the evening.

____

He wasn't exactly drunk, but he was buzzed enough to be fearless, unencumbered by the weight of worry and responsibility. And it was fun. As much as he had enjoyed hanging out with these people, his focus had always been essentially on Agron. Since he was sort-of-kind-of avoiding him tonight, he got to know a few of them better. 

Saxa, for example, was much more Nasir's type of person than she originally appeared - yes, she was just as loud and overbearing as the rest of the fighters, but she also had a quick, sarcastic wit and a sunny outlook on life. Lugo, a fighter from Germany who spoke in broken English, was kindhearted and tried to make sure everyone was having a good time. 

There was still a lot more casual misogyny and homophobia than he was comfortable with. A few times he called someone out on having said something offensive and people took it good-naturedly, interpreting his offense as another joking retort. No one actually gave him a hard time about his sexuality, though, even though he was making no effort at all to hide it. Nasir decided that they were actually nice and compassionate people who had no idea how their jokes and attitudes could hurt people. Not that it really made it better, but he could handle having ignorant friends, not malicious ones. Ignorant he could help change.

So he made plans to hang out with Saxa later in the week (Gannicus, laughing, suggested they go shopping together and both Saxa and Nasir pointed out they hated shopping). He was so involved in a very heated conversation with Crixus about the value of reality television that he barely noticed that a bunch of people had left.

Then everyone who was still there decided that they needed to continue the night at a bar, or possibly a diner where they could eat greasy food to stave off hangovers. 

"Come on, Nasir! It'll be fun! I'll be your wingman," Saxa said, pulling on his sleeve. 

"We're not going to a gay club!" Crixus insisted.

"Duh, I know, but the gays... they're everywhere," Saxa finished in a dramatic stage-whisper.

"Oh my god, you guys, just go. I'm calling a cab and going to sleep. Your livers clearly have way more practice than mine," Nasir replied.

He moved to walk out with them but Agron stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

"I'm not going. You can wait inside for the cab, if you want."

"Uh, thanks." He called the cab company and passed on Agron's address to the dispatcher, then flopped down on the couch and closed his eyes. He felt the couch move slightly when Agron sat down beside him. His evening had come full circle.

"Look, I think what I said earlier came out wrong," Agron began, but Nasir cut him off, not at all in the mood to deal with a serious conversation. He was surprised Agron sounded as quiet and serious as he did. He hadn't gone out of his way to notice - really, he hadn't - but it seemed like Agron had been drinking pretty heavily.

"Forget it. You were right, no big deal."

"That's not what I..." Agron made a frustrated noise and turned his body to look at Nasir, who pushed himself off the couch and moved towards the door. 

"Listen, I'm just going to go wait outside," Nasir said, feeling the need to get away from the conversation before it got more heated. But Agron followed him up off the couch and towards the door.

"Stay for a bit," Agron said, his voice low and honeyed, as he moved towards Nasir. Before he really knew what was happening, he was between Agron and a wall and oh my god Agron needed to stop doing that.

"What?" Nasir said, confused and, as always, unable to remain unmoved when Agron was towering over him like that. His voice sounded shakier than he would have liked.

"Stay," Agron whispered into his ear, his breath warm on Nasir's neck. Nasir shivered and involuntarily closed his eyes at the sensation.

He could do this, he thought to himself, as Agron's mouth moved to his neck, lips ghosting over skin. He could just sleep with him, get it out of his system, move on. No big deal, right?

Before he had even decided, his hand had moved up Agron's arm, brushing the bare skin of his bicep. It was a really nice arm. Oh, what the hell. It was going to happen at some point or other anyway, who were they kidding? 

"Okay," he said as he cupped his hand around the back of Agron's head and brought him down for a kiss. It was a good kiss - less frantic than last time, more sure. Agron's tongue pushed gently against his own and his stubble brushed against his skin, not enough to hurt but enough to be noticed. Agron's large hand moved to curve over his cheek, holding Nasir loosely in place. 

Even if he had denied it, Nasir had been wanting this and waiting for it for a long time. Making out was great and all, but...

"Shirt off, now," he breathed out, slipping his hands up Agron's back. Agron laughed softly against him and Nasir could feel the vibration. But instead of complying with his less-than-politely worded request, Agron took a step backwards.

Shit, Nasir thought, was Agron going to freak out again? The thought was almost enough to change his own mind, but Agron was walking down the hallway towards the door Nasir assumed was his bedroom.

"You coming?" Agron asked over his shoulder as he started to take off his shirt.

Within minutes, they were both naked and on the bed. Agron had Nasir trapped under him, one hand in Nasir's hair, pressing kisses to his collarbones, shoulders, chest. Then he moved lower and Nasir's breath hitched as he realized what was going to happen next.

"You... don't have to. I mean, if you're not sure or -" Agron cut him off with a raised eyebrow and a half-grin.

"This won't be the first time I've done it," Agron told him.

"Oh," Nasir replied, weakly. He wasn't sure what to think about that - Agron definitely hadn't been acting like he regularly gave blow jobs. Then he stopped thinking as he felt warm lips on the head of his cock, followed by a tentative lick. Nasir made some kind of muffled noise in his throat and Agron gave up on going slowly - he held the base with one hand and took much of the rest into his mouth. Nasir could feel his tongue stroking him and the sensation of warmth and wet was overwhelming. He moved his hips, knowing that Agron's hand would prevent him from taking in too much. Agron's other hand grabbed his hip and pinned it down to the bed as he moved down and up, driving Nasir crazy.

He looked down and saw that strange hair cut, the incredible body, the adorably intent face he'd been spending so much time thinking about lately.

"Come here," Nasir gasped out, suddenly not wanting to come without having more of Agron pressed up against him, wanting to be reminded that this was Agron and not anybody else. Nasir rolled over to his side and Agron moved up to lie down next to him, licking at Nasir's lips as if he was just too worked up to be able to concentrate on kissing properly. And maybe he was - Nasir moved his hand down between their bodies and found Agron's hard cock, warm and soft under his touch, and Agron moaned into his mouth. 

"What do you want?" Nasir asked into his neck, firmly stroking up and down.

"Like this? Not sure I can wait long enough for anything else."

"Yeah, that's good," Nasir breathed as he pushed his own cock against Agron's hip. Then Agron shifted so they were lined up against each other and he took both of them in hand, skin rubbing together. Nasir had a fleeting thought that lube might be nice right now, but he didn't think they were going to last much longer anyway. He wasn't, that was for sure.

Because he was finally touching, moving against the beautiful guy he had seen that first day in the gym, who had grown into not just abstract beauty but into a person who he cared about. Agron was facing him, his green eyes half-closed but watching Nasir, and Nasir moved in to frantically kiss him again just as he started to come, feeling the rush go through his whole body, even down to his toes which were brushing against Agron's leg. He clutched harder at Agron's back, digging in his fingernails, and Agron followed, making a noise Nasir was sure he'd remember for the rest of his life.

They eventually stopped moving and kissing. Nasir leaned his head forward so that his forehead was resting against Agron's shoulder and tried to regulate his breathing. Just sex, he repeated to himself. Just sex.

Without moving himself significantly away from Nasir, Agron reached over to his bedside table and grabbed some Kleenex, handing some to Nasir, too. After some awkward cleaning up, Nasir broke the silence.

"I should probably go," he said, but he didn't move away. 

"Nah, you should stay," Agron replied, sounding already half-asleep.

"Okay," Nasir replied after a few moments of hesitation. He turned around and moved backwards so that Agron was spooning him and Agron put his arm around his waist.

"This doesn't mean we're together," Nasir clarified, but it came out sounding more petulant than anything else.

Agron, apparently amused by this, snorted softly into the back of his neck and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured right before a bound-to-be-heartbreaking episode was a good time to post this!

Nasir woke up when he felt movement next to him. He had always been the kind of person to go straight from asleep to awake with no grogginess in the middle, but apparently Agron was the opposite - he didn't seem to be asleep, exactly, but he couldn't be said to be awake, either. He was moving every now and then, but mostly he was still flopped onto his stomach, hiding his face in the pillow on his side of the bed.

Nasir expected to feel awkward and exposed, still naked in bed the morning after, but he couldn't quite bring himself to bother. He stayed under the covers for a while, enjoying the warmth and the peace.

"Morning," Agron said, as he finally rolled onto his back. His speech was slurred and when Nasir looked over at him, he seemed to still be slipping in and out of consciousness.

Nasir pulled on his boxers and left Agron to his waking up process while he went to the bathroom. When he came back into the bedroom, Agron had propped himself up on the pillows but still had his eyes closed.

"I guess I should get home," Nasir said. Agron made an unintelligible noise before saying:

"I'm going to make breakfast, you should have some. Bacon and eggs are the only way to have good days after nights like last night."

"Okay," Nasir smiled. And waited.

"Uh, in a minute," Agron closed his eyes again. Nasir laughed and sat back down on the bed, leaning up against the headboard on top of the covers.

This was nice. Maybe a bit too nice.

"So, this wasn't the first time you were with a guy." Nasir couldn't help himself and, really, if talking about it was going to screw this up, it was definitely going to get screwed up no matter what he did or said.

"No," Agron paused and continued more hesitantly. "Just my first time with a guy who I actually know."

"Oh." And what could you say to that?

"Okay, okay. Breakfast," Agron said, as he finally pushed himself out of bed. Nasir figured he was allowed to ogle a little bit as Agron walked over to a dresser to pull out some sweatpants and put them on. He didn't put on a shirt before he walked out to the kitchen. Asshole, Nasir thought, as he put on _all_ of his clothes and went out to join him.

"Coffee?" Agron asked, spooning grounds into the coffee maker.

"Yeah, that would be good."

Once he had finished with that and put a pan on the stove with some butter in it, he turned to Nasir, who was quietly leaning against the counter.

"Okay, out with it," Agron said, the corner of his mouth lifted up in a half smile.

"What?"

"I don't know. You're dying to talk about something, I can tell."

"And what could we possibly need to talk about?" Nasir's voice was heavy with sarcasm and Agron huffed a laugh, turning back to check the progress of the butter.

"You've really never been in a relationship before?" Nasir asked.

"Of course I have," Agron replied, paying maybe a little bit too much attention to the pan in front of him. 

"With women?" Nasir's voice was heavy with disbelief.

"Yes, with women," Agron shot back. "Some were even good relationships."

"Uh huh," Nasir knew he shouldn't be pushing, but he did anyway. "How was the sex?"

"Fine," Agron glared at him.

"'Fine'? That's a ringing endorsement."

"Okay, so maybe they weren't the most... passionate relationships, but I really cared about them."

"Yeah," Nasir sighed. "I'm sure you did."

They were both quiet for a minute.

"It's not like I think it's wrong or something," Agron started. "It's just... a lot of people aren't okay with it, especially in fighting and other sports. It's my career, you know? It's important to me."

"So no one knows?"

"Well, I think Duro always knew, I never really had to say anything. Other than him, nope."

"Whoa, that's crazy. I mean, how can you even keep a secret like that? You can't tell a lie to save your life. I've seen you try!"

"What's there to lie about? Dating has never been a big priority for me. I haven't, like, had a secret life I needed to cover up."

"But I'm going to take a wild guess that you don't want anyone to find out what happened last night."

"No," Agron looked up from the sizzling bacon and at him as he said it, and Nasir respected that at least Agron wasn't trying to hide from him. "I don't want them to know."

"Right," Nasir expelled his breath loudly and closed his eyes for a moment. "I don't do secret relationships."

"You're the one who pointed out that we aren't together. Do you tell your friends about every one of your hookups?"

"Whatever," Nasir said as he took his plate and sat down at the little kitchen table. As they ate, they talked about funny things that had happened at the party, their friends, their plans for the rest of the week. When he left, they didn't kiss goodbye.

____

It was three days before he saw Agron at the gym again. Nasir was just putting his stuff away in his locker when Agron and Gannicus walked by on their way out.

"Hey, Nasir," Gannicus said.

"Hey, how was the rest of your night the other day?" Nasir replied.

"We're never speaking of it again," Gannicus' face was stony and Nasir laughed.

"Let me know if you want to hang out tonight," Agron said to Nasir. "We could watch a movie or something."

Nasir was kind of flabbergasted, but Gannicus obviously hadn't thought it was a weird offer - he was inching towards the door and looking a little bit bored.

"Uh, yeah, I'll let you know," he managed to get out, hoping he didn't sound horribly awkward, before Agron flashed a dimpled smile at him and left.

He banged his head against the locker just once.

___

At nine that evening, Nasir found himself sitting on his couch and staring at his phone. He usually had absolutely no problem occupying himself in his off-time - between books, DVDs and crossword puzzles he was set (even without a TV.) And he was never lonely. He loved living by himself, in fact.

But, as unexpected as it was, the fact remained that he was sitting on his couch, bored and lonely. He had called to chat with his brother for a while and it was nice, but didn't quite change how he was feeling.

He really, really wanted to take Agron up on his offer. Part of him knew it was a bad idea, certainly, but another part was telling him that hooking up twice wasn't much different from hooking up once. 

He hadn't had any alcohol tonight and he still felt like his judgment was impaired. Maybe it had been the whole time, when it came to Agron. He felt very much like a moth circling a flame.

He texted Agron.

_Hey, want to come over here tonight?_

_But you don't have a TV to watch a movie on_

_I know_

_Address???_

_____

 

It wasn't fair, Nasir thought. 

Given his circumstances, Agron was supposed to be nervous, hesitant. He was supposed to let Nasir lead, Nasir who actually had his shit figured out, who had dated and slept with men before. Instead, Nasir found himself feeling uncertain when Agron held his face in his hands and kissed him, didn't hesitate but wrapped his huge body around him. 

It was slower and less frantic this time - they weren't drunk, it wasn't that late, neither of them was worried the other would change his mind. It was unbearably good when Agron was rolling his hips, pushing into him from behind as they both lay on their sides, feeling Agron's warm body all along his back, both of his arms wrapped around Nasir's chest. 

And afterwards it was comfortable. They showered (separately) and Agron suggested ordering food. They ate Thai food and watched a movie on Nasir's laptop ("Cheating," Agron teased). Neither of them suggested Agron leave. Before the movie was even over, Agron cupped his hand around Nasir's cheek and brought him in for a kiss, his lips pressing warmly against Nasir's own. 

___

After Agron had fallen asleep, naked and sweaty again, Nasir lay awake. It was nice, so nice, to have someone to sleep next to, someone who was holding him like he mattered. Maybe Agron didn't have enough experience to know, but Nasir was perfectly aware that nights like tonight didn't happen between people having a one (or two)-off fling. Casual lovers, friends with benefits, maybe. But that didn't feel quite accurate either. 

The warmth he had felt all night had dimmed as he thought about not being able to talk to his friends about this. Nasir was a pretty private person and didn't feel the need to tell everyone everything, but not being allowed made him feel constrained and just generally shitty. He didn't even feel right resenting Agron for it, since he had been open about his expectations of secrecy right from the start.

Nasir had known what he was getting into. He just hadn't known how not to get into it.

He closed his eyes and ran his hand down Agron's arm, which was draped over his waist. Agron made a snuffling noise into his neck and hugged him closer. Nasir finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The characters' lack of understanding of the spectrum of sexuality does not reflect the author's own opinions. It just worked for the plot and the characters.


	6. Chapter 6

Nasir stared down at his tea. The way the sediment swirled was really fascinating.

"Seriously? You're giving me nothing?" Chadara asked.

"Nothing to tell," Nasir replied. He knew he sounded too casual. Chadara had always been able to see right through him.

"You tell me about everything. You told me about the acrobat! You even told me about the guy with the weird foot thing," Chadara said indignantly.

"Hey, it wasn't that weird, everyone has their kinks."

"So you're dating someone with a weirder kink than a foot fetish?"

"No!"

"So what's the deal?"

Nasir stayed silent and didn't meet her eyes. Chadara sighed and reached out her hand to cover his own, the one that wasn't fiddling with a spoon.

"I'm just worried about you. You've been even more reclusive than you usually are and you're distracted all the time. I practically had to force you to even come meet me for coffee. You don't have to tell me anything else, just tell me if you're happy." The sincerity and care in her voice was unmistakable.

Nasir thought over the past couple of weeks, the time since he and Agron had first hooked up. He had been avoiding Chadara - he knew it would be too difficult for him to see her and not talk to her about his concerns. He thought about Agron waking up in his bed this morning, sleep-rumpled and groggy, kissing Nasir goodbye as Nasir ran out of the bedroom, late for work. He remembered the night before, the feel of Agron's hands on him, their mingled breath as they kissed and moved together. And he remembered seeing him in the hallway later, exchanging nothing more than a casual greeting in front of Crixus and Naevia.

"I don't know," Nasir answered her.

___

 

When they were alone, things were great. Like, really great. Disturbingly great. 

Maybe it was the constant knowledge that the relationship had an expiration date, one sooner rather than later, but Nasir found that he wasn't desperate for space or annoyed by all of Agron's little habits, like he always had been at the beginning of previous relationships. He had always moved slow, not out of caution but because he needed to accustom himself to new boyfriends, teach himself all over again how to share space, how to deal with quirks, how to consider someone else in his day-to-day plans.

But with Agron, it was fine. He didn't feel at all smothered. Maybe it was because he felt like he didn't owe Agron anything, given the fucked up situation and he was perfectly willing to just say no to hanging out if he didn't want to. Nasir wasn't sure why he rarely wanted to say no. Even his quirks were cute, god damn it. 

And the sex was... well. Agron was the perfect combination of experienced and new - he was unashamed and mature while also being full of the joy and enthusiasm of the newly sexually fulfilled.

He went over to Agron's place after leaving Chadara puzzled but unburdened of her own secrets - Nasir really didn't need to know as much as he now did about Gannicus and Saxa, as well as Mira. When he was brushing his teeth before going to join Agron in bed (the third night together in a row, his mind whispered to him) he freaked out a little. He spat and rinsed, then went to the bedroom to find Agron stripped down to his boxers, reading a book about some fighting style or other.

"What are we doing?" Nasir asked.

"Going to bed?" Agron looked at him quizzically.

"No, I mean, you and me. We're being domestic. I have a toothbrush here!"

"Well, you've slept here a few times and I had an extra," Agron pointed out, ever practical.

"Exactly. That's a couple thing to do and... we talked about this, we're not a couple."

"I know," Agron said, reasonably.

"So what are we doing?" Nasir repeated. Agron put his book down and motioned for Nasir to sit down on the bed, which he did.

"I know we're not dating, but I like spending time with you. I just... like you."

"That's it? It's that easy for you?" Nasir asked, a little desperately.

"It's that easy," Agron confirmed, holding Nasir's face in his hands and moving in to kiss him.

____

"You're coming on Friday, right?"

"Uh, I don't know," Nasir answered Naevia.

"Come on, they're doing a double-header, both Saxa and Agron are fighting! It'll be fun," she said, before taking another sip of her beer.

"You've seen a fight before, right?" Saxa asked.

"Yeah, we went a few weeks ago," Chadara replied, before Nasir could even open his mouth. "He liked it just fine," she said, as she shot a sly look over at him.

He would not blush. He would **not**.

"It was... interesting, certainly."

"Come on, Nasir, don't you want to come see me beating some girl into the ground?" Saxa teased.

"What, like I'm not going to be owning Ritchie?" Agron asked, offended.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, dear," Saxa patted his hand.

Agron looked at Nasir across the table at the bar. It was strange, being out together, and not together, in public. It was the first time he had let Chadara drag him out when he knew Agron's friends would be out too. He had texted Agron to warn him about the impending disaster, but Agron had been completely unfazed. As usual. He was acting normally, friendly to everyone. Nasir, on the other hand, was pretty much ignoring Agron, unsure as to how to talk to him with others around. He was sure he was imagining the looks Naevia was giving him.

"You should come," Agron told him.

____

"You really should come," Agron told him again, later, when they were both in Nasir's bed. They had left separately - Nasir dropped Chadara off at home before doubling back to pick up Agron, who had dropped off his car at his own place.

"Why, so I can watch someone try to actually knock some sense into you?" Agron laughed into Nasir's hair in response.

"You had fun last time, didn't you?"

"I don't know if I would call it fun," Nasir said, consideringly. "I couldn't quite decide whether I wanted to lick your abs or take you to the hospital."

"I've seen fight nights end both ways," Agron agreed.

"You're not going to pick up some girl in front of me, are you?" Nasir asked, pulling back to look at Agron.

"No, of course not," Agron looked taken aback. "I'm not sleeping with anyone else," he said, looking expectantly at Nasir when he didn't reply immediately. Agron was starting to frown when Nasir sighed.

"I'm not either. When would I even find the time?" he grumbled. "This still doesn't mean we're dating," Nasir reminded him, as Agron started to kiss and nibble at his neck.

"Mmm hmm," he agreed into Nasir's skin. After a few moments, he drew back to speak.

"You don't have to come. It would just be nice to have you there," he told Nasir. And really, what could Nasir say to that except yes?

____

Watching Saxa fight was interesting. He could appreciate the strength and skill that went into her fighting and she knocked her opponent out in the second round.

But it was a good thing he and Chadara were sitting with Crixus, Naevia and Gannicus when Agron was fighting. The four of them were so intent on the fight, yelling and encouraging and heckling, that they didn't notice Nasir's eyes squeezing shut and then flying open whenever he heard a particularly alarming noise.

It had been one thing to see Agron fight before. Now that he knew exactly how those hands that were being battered felt, now that he had kissed the skin on his side that was being bruised, now that the mouth being punched had been pressed against his lips, it was downright painful to watch. Agron was pinning the other man to the floor, they were both squirming and Nasir couldn't tell who the trail of blood drops belonged to. He felt like he didn't breathe until the third round was over and Agron, the cut on his cheekbone still open, was declared the winner.

Maybe Chadara hadn't been quite so oblivious as the rest of them, since she gently helped him stand when everyone else shot out of their seats.

_____

 

The afterparty was torturous. All Nasir wanted to do was check Agron for injuries, kiss away the hurts and harness the energy and adrenaline he saw in the ring for some more enjoyable activities. Instead, he tried to be inconspicuous when he stared at Agron's bruised face. Like last time, Agron was getting shots bought for him - it seemed like some kind of tradition, since Saxa was also downing them left and right. 

Agron had taken a quick shower before they all went to the same club as last time, so his hair was still just a little damp and his skin looked warm and clean. And the alcohol was clearly affecting him already - he was laughing loudly and jostling Saxa in a friendly way. It reminded Nasir so much of the last time he had gone out after a fight, when he had wanted him so badly and had, literally, run away. There was something deeply satisfying in the contrast, because, despite all of the complications, he was going to be going home with Agron this time. 

That is, if they made it home.

Nasir was leaning against the bar, trying to get the attention of the bartender to get a refill, when Agron came up behind him. The club was crowded, people were pressed together everywhere, so it wasn't conspicuous when Agron leaned against him, connecting their bodies. He could feel Agron's thigh against the back of his leg and his hip on his back. 

"Hey," he whisper/yelled into Nasir's ear, close enough that Nasir could feel the warmth from his breath.

"What are you doing?" Nasir hissed. He couldn't look back at him - that would bring their faces right together.

"Nothing," Agron said, with that wicked, dimpled grin of his. "Aren't you going to congratulate me?"

"On what, your violent and sociopathic tendencies?" Nasir saw uncertainty creep into Agron's eyes. Ugh, it was like kicking a puppy. "No, really, you were... amazing."

Agron got his revenge, though. He moved his mouth even closer to Nasir's ear.

"Can't wait till later," he breathed while gently thrusting his hips forward against Nasir. Then he laughed, low and throaty, and walked away.

"Can I actually get a double?" Nasir asked the bartender.

By the time Nasir made his way into the marginally quieter area where the group was sitting, he had already downed half of his drink.

"That was a great takedown in round two," Crixus was telling Agron, even though his expression looked more like he was having teeth pulled than hanging out with friends. Then he clapped Agron heartily on the back - just in a spot where he had been kicked - and Nasir could see Agron's wince.

"Be nice," Naevia admonished. 

"Nice is no fun, sweetheart," Saxa said as she shoved at Nasir to get out of the booth. She went off to the dance floor to join a pretty brunette who had been giving her come-hither eyes. When Nasir sat back down, he was next to Agron.

"You're usually out there finding someone to dance with," Gannicus said to Agron. Everyone looked at him. "Okay, to fuck. Get all of that post-fight energy out. Did your dick fall off or something?" Agron leaned over to punch him in the arm.

"No, asshole. I just already have a hook-up lined up," Agron replied, airily. 

"Ooooh, who is she?" Naevia asked.

"Gentlemen don't fuck and tell," Agron said.

"One, the line is 'gentlemen don't kiss and tell' and, two, you're not a gentleman," Gannicus pointed out. Agron just shrugged.

"You don't know her." This placated the group enough that they were diverted to other topics. Nasir did notice Gannicus glancing over at Saxa on the dance floor occasionally, but Saxa didn't seem to be looking back, pretty occupied flirting with the girl she had found.

As Nasir was contemplating the complexity of that relationship, his phone buzzed.

_G was right tho. Fighting always gets me going. Wanna fuck you hard_

Nasir quickly looked over at Agron, but he was seemingly absorbed talking with Gannicus. Tease.

Then, without turning or pausing in his conversation, Agron put his hand on Nasir's thigh.

Nasir was thankful for the dim lighting, which was the only thing hiding his burning cheeks from the rest of the group, as Agron's hand slowly came up his leg. Nasir was sure, **sure** that Agron was going to stop, but he didn't - not until his hand was cupped between Nasir's legs and starting to move.

Nasir sprang up. 

"I'm just going to go get another drink," he said, desperately.

When they all looked at him strangely, he realized he still had half of a drink clutched in his hand. He looked at it helplessly, downed it, and walked off. He could hear Agron's loud laughter over even the music.

Within an hour Nasir, flushed from alcohol and Agron's hands, begged off. It was only a half an hour after he got home that Agron's cab pulled up outside.


End file.
